I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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