I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
