we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
