Is it normal to miss your booty call?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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