just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
