oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
