party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
