Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
