He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
