I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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