dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
