yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I party with great urgency now.
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