i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
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he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
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please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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