You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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