I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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