good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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