we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
