She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
