Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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