i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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