Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
