You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
there was a trapeze. enough said
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You've changed since you got that strap on
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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