6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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