Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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