It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
