sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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