i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
