Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
