well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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