some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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