your room smells of hookers.
And success
I wish life had little blips of pornography
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
