i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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