I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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