Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
