You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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