You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
