My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
She tied me up with her honor cords...
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
