I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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