So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Semen is not good for contacts.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
