She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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