she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
