How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
