census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
