Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
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Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
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Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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