Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
