Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
...so i touched it.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
