After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Randomize