Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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