i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
