Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
