if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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