Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
The Olympian is in my bed
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
