This is not my ceiling
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize