You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
