About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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