So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
