Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I supernannyed him into submission
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
