Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
