I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
