anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
