Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
