brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
