In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
