Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
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