he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
