Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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